Alan Hill


My Daughter Does Makeup


It has been two years now since it began.
First all black and red
face art, sexy panda, hormonal racoon,
some sort of masked bandit, Zoro, the Lone Ranger,
If they had been made redundant, looked at their phones all day. 

Now she gets free samples.
I find lipstick chewed by the dog or under furniture,
runes, signs of her smeared on mirrors, the bathroom wall,
secret messages to another self she has not yet met.

She has bigger armory now, eyeliner, rouge, eyelashes
that I find crawling across floors, mutant caterpillars
that have broken free
to topple towers, smash up traffic, destroy suburbia.

An hour every morning she prepares
becomes weaponized, painted, works toward being twenty-five,
a woman.

That’s how I know it, in her dedication to looking old, 
she is still mine, my child. 


Moonchild


We have our routine.
Every night I collect her from her boyfriend’s after dark,

although this night, on the first of August, the moon is larger,
brighter
than I have ever seen it.

It follows us along the fences, a little behind the trees, tracks us,
touchable,
rolls after us along the horizon at the speed of my car.

It is her that it wants.
I can see it in the way the moon catches her face, is absorbed,
defeated by her beauty
gives in to her, worships.

She has moved beyond us, her mother and I, our average, bland
attempts at symmetry,
attraction.

She is something bigger, more complete.

The moon knows this, she does not.
I must think, find a way to tell her what she has become, help her
to believe it.



The Secret Policeman

My teenage daughter got home late.

Out in the dissipating July heat
I hid behind the apple tree

watched as she
inexpertly, tentatively, kissed
some dweeby, undeserving, man-child

I know those, as I was one once

aroused by inanimate objects,
hoarder of
my older sister’s underwear catalogues

insatiable stain maker, bedder of
imaginary beauties
founding member of the
high school porn swap club.

How lucky she must feel to have me
as her protector

a fat man in baggy shorts, wedged in
adolescent branches, infirm foliage

unsure of who I am, my duties
how I can protect her from my kind.


Alan Hill was born in the UK and immigrated to Canada in 2005. He is the former Poet Laureate of the City of New Westminster, BC (2017–2020), former president of the Royal City Literary Arts Society (RCLAS), and was the editor and curator of A Poetry of Place: Journeys Across New Westminster, published in partnership with New Westminster Arts Services. His writing has been published internationally and his poetry has appeared in Event, CV2, Canadian Literature, The Antigonish Review, subTerrain, Poetry Is Dead, among others. He works in the field of community development and immigrant settlement and lives in New Westminster, BC. His book In the Blood was published by Caitlin Press in 2022.

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